I was not in a great mood this morning.
I'm embarrassed to say that I let fear and doubt get the best of me yet again.
Apparently faith can be a slippery little booger sometimes.
I'm not sure what happened, but I was paralyzed at my desk with worry for the better part of my morning.
Like...
What if I suck at teaching Pilates?
What if I waste my whole life away waiting in line at commercial auditions that I will never "book?"
What if I never find a way to make meaningful art?
Or worse- what if I never find a way to make a meaningful life?
What if I get stuck in a dead end job that I hate for 40 hours every week?
What if I'm on the wrong path... again?
Funny how that all changed after an hour or so at the gym followed by acting class this evening.
My theory:
Acting is fun. Exercise is also fun.
They both make me feel like I'm really living.
And if I get the chance to share them with others, maybe that will be the beginning of the "meaningful life" that I crave.
So guess what Stefanie? Turns out that don't have time to sit and worry. You've got Pilates classes to teach, auditions to attend, commercials to be on hold for (yay), books to read, music to listen to, movies to watch, men to fall for, and lots of fun to be had in the meantime.
Lesson learned.
P.S. I don't really want every blog post to be a diary entry. I'll see what I can do about that...
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